Initiated By Temple

I am here. 
I am watching. 
I am learning.
I think this is an important game. 
An initiation.
We will each receive it in our own way.
Bow and let the curtain drop.
Well played, everyone.
Time for a new way.
It is frightening, truly.
And tempting to take up a position on the drama triangle.
But I want a new game.
I want to allow the pain and darkness to finally and fully cleanse this vessel.
Owning my own perpetrator. 
It's there, you know. 
There is a more socially acceptable way to be a narcissist: 
hero, caretaker, good girl.
Purging myself through claiming the darkest parts of humanity that lurk in me, I find
The jewel of my innocence which cannot exist without acknowledging it in everyone else.
And beside it is the jewel of ignorance. 
The knowing of the gravity of the great and terrible thing we are about, 
having creators in such close proximity. 
Destroying each other with every interaction.
Learning to recognize when that destruction could have been more conscious and more consensual and more connected.
Ever innocent and ever ignorant and ever 
loving and learning.
I find the stillness within 
and the deep knowing of peace and power and 
rise up to meet life. 
Receive it and love it and drink deeply as it teaches 
me of my ignorance 
and brings me ever and ever to
better.
I am your humble and powerful servant.
Xochitl. 

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