I sat in the dark for months, like a dormant seed
in my comfy shell
Sometimes burdened by the lack of productivity.
But it would pass and I was grateful
for the time to just be me
to plumb my depths and learn who I was.
A content little cosmos
of knowing.
Then the swelling started
Elements rushed in
Delicious water and nourishment
Ecstatic Expansion and Love and
something that felt like movement and progress
This!
This is what I am: Bigger, Better, Juicier
A GIANT SEED!
Yes! I can do THIS!
Then there was this hum of change that felt terrifying
and a little exciting.
I rode the vibration for weeks, determined to hold on
to the progress I had made.
Then
Crack.
The Seed Split
And, horror of horrors,
my insides:
The dark things I had sat with and learned to love
Began to expose themselves to the outside
And whatever that swollen seed was is gone,
dead.
I don’t know what I am
except exposed.
Can I align myself to the field of Trust
open to the nutrients surrounding me
allow the old identity of seed to fall away
and let life unfold through me?